My coworker, Lehua, sent this to me and I got quite the kick out of it...

                    Here's the reply the teacher received the next day:

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.  I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.  I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting ove r who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole.  It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

 

In the words of Smokey (Friday Movie), "you ain't got to lie, to kick it..." LoL!!

Got this email from my sister-in-law and LOVED it!! Have a great one!! 

 

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
 
Keep reading-they get better!!!
  

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WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
 
  
  

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

 
  
  

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MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

 
  
  

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

 
  
  

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

 
  
  

---

  
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

 
  
  

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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
 
  
  

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
 
  
  

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

 
  
  

---

  
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece 
 

Okay, so some of you might have received this email:

Just In Time For Flu Season- Stop coughs 
            
Care to give it a try, You may find this incredibly helpful!

Some of us have used Vicks VapoRub for years for everything from chapped lips to sore toes and many body parts in between. But I've never heard of this.  And don't laugh, it works 100% of the time, although the scientists who discovered it aren't sure why.  To stop night time coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks VapoRub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime, then cover with socks. Even persistent,
heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief.  Works 100% of the time and is  more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough  medicines.  In addition it  is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly. 

Just happened to tune in A.M. Radio and picked up this guy talking about by cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good, due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs so, I listened.  It was a surprise finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, in addition to have a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly. 

My wife tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago and it worked 100%! She said that it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her, coughing stopped in a few minutes and believe me, this was a deep, (incredibly annoying!) every few seconds uncontrollable cough, and she slept cough-free for hours every night that she used it. 

If you have children or grandchildren, pass this on. If you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed at how it works.

 

Well I got this a couple months ago and didn't think much of it. Then about a month ago one of the nieces was over and she had a TERRIBLE cough, we tried it and while it didn't get rid of the cough completely, it really lessened the intensity and she was able to sleep. Okay, fast forward...I think I'm coming down with something. The weirdest part, I don't have a fever, headache, stuffy nose, sore throat...or any of the regular symptoms, just this deep persistent cough!! Whats up?!?! But last night I was trying to fall asleep and just couldn't. Taei asked if I wanted the Vicks to rub on my chest, then it hit me...no, but I'll rub it on my feet. Put it on, put on some socks and for real...I coughed three times after that and fell asleep! No coughing until the morning! So like I said, other than the cough I don't feel sick, I don't even have mucus! Okay...TMI...but I decided to come into work today, but to be safe I packed a pair of socks and my Vicks Vapor Rub!

Ever since the invention of email we get inundated with holiday emails...spooky halloween stuff, thanksgiving thanful ones, and the spirit of Christmas kind. These ON TOP of the everyday angels, pass this on to 10 people, your age by chocolate consumption, yada yada yada...So today a co-worker sent this to me.

Pretty cool right?? So being the sucker that I am, I promptly headed to Kmart to pick up the necessary items. I still don't have alot of stuff at home so I needed to get the baking soda and hydrogen peroxide as well.

So where you ask, is the picture of my homemade glowstick?? Well we shook and shook...both me and Taei. I showed him the video and he tried it! No luck!! Ours didn't work!! So did we do something wrong or was this just some dumb trick by the Pepsi company to get people to buy Mountain Dew?? Well if you try it and it works let me know!!

 

On a side note, I'm attempting to make some Halloween treats. It's taken me three tries, but they are finally turning out...

LOL!! I still got a ton of rice crispie cereal I need to use up! But these are decorated chocolate dipped rice crispie treats!! Fun!!